Different but still the same

Growing up Alison and her father Bruce were very different people but were also very similar in certain ways. Alison growing up was a “tomboy”, she found herself to be more masculine that her own father. Her own cousins nicknamed her Butch, “hey Butch think fast,” (pg. 96). While on the other hand her father was somewhat of a sissy. She said that her father found comfort in flowers and decorating, he wanted his entire house to be covered with flowers inside and out. Alison says, “what kind of man but a sissy could possibly love flowers this ardently?” (Pg. 90). Alison apparently at a young age could not figure out why her father was so sissy-like, while herself was more of a “man” than her own father. As Alison began to grow up and really began to see the differences between her and her father, Alison states, “But I wanted the muscles and tweed like my father wanted the velvet and pearls—subjectively for myself,” (pg. 99). With Alison she felt comfortable with who she was and how she looked. She would figure out that she was into girls, and would become a lesbian at fairly a young age. While her father on the other hand always knew he had feelings for the same sex, (he was gay), but was both embarrassed and afraid to express his true feelings because of fear of how people would react towards him. And in the end Alison believes that her father killed himself because he was a manic-depressant and clearly could not handle living a doubled life anymore. While Alison choose to be honest with her feelings, and allowed her to be happy, and who is currently living a happy and healthy life and who is a proud to be a member of the gay community.

Family "issues"

 It is clear from the first few chapters that Alison and her father did not have a good relationship. Even at a young age, Alison as well as her brothers felt that their father was way to controlling, (somewhat bossy like), and unexpressive toward his wife and children. The first chapter Alison discusses what kind of father Bruce Bechdel was and how he treated his family. According to Alison it is either her father’s way or no way at all. For example Alison explains how her family purchased an old house that was built in 1867, and when they first bought it was in need of some help. Alison stated how her father could fix anything she says “my father could spin garbage into gold,” (Bechdel, 6). It is clear that her father had a “knack” for interior design. According to Alison her father was not happy with pretty much most of his life, such as his job, she stated that his true passion was craftsman’s work and not an English teacher. It seems from what I have read that Bruce was fight some serious demons, and he seems to be taking it out on his family. Alison and her brothers never received affection of any kind from their father, for example, Alison explains how tried to show her love for her father by giving him a kiss, but because her family has little experience with affection, she ended up giving him a kiss on the hand, (pg.19). Alison was completely mortified by the gesture; she was full of embarrassment because she did not receive a gesture back or did not show any affection from her father. The uncertainty of father continued throughout her life, but once her father had died is when she really started questioning her life as well as trying to figure out her father's life as well. In the end once her father was gone, her and her brothers felt some type of relief, they were free from his reins. “It could be argued that death is inherently absurd, and that grinning is not necessarily an inappropriate response,” (Bechdel, 47). As I continue to read, I hope to better understand what her father was going through, why their relationship was the way it was, and will she feel any different after receiving answers as to “why?”

Alvarez's Purpose

      Alvarez definitely served her purpose with writing In the time of the Butterflies. With this particular book, Alvarez was able to tell a story about four very different sisters, but through the eyes of only one sister, Dede.  Alvarez interviewed Dede, (the soul survivor of the four sisters) and Alvarez took Dede’s stories of each sister and was able to create a story about sisters as if each sister were sitting in front of Alvarez herself.  Though Alvarez created a story through the sister’s stories and experiences, I feel Alvarez was trying to tell us of what the Haitian women went through during this time. These four particular women fought for what they believed in, as well as fought for those women who might have been affected by what was going on during this awful time. Before I started reading this particular book, I thought it was going to be a historical timeline, you can say straight to the point. But after reading the book, I realized that Alvarez was doing more than that, she took the facts, and put them into a story that showed how each sister was affected by one another. Though in story form, Alvarez told the truth, she wrote what she was told from Dede, she wrote as if she experienced the whole thing with the sisters. Alvarez I feel accomplished what she was trying to accomplish, she told the story of four sisters who were strong-willed but at the same time experienced many fearful events. Alvarez was able to give Minerva, Mate, Patria, and Dede a voice, it allowed them to tell their stories “from hair ribbons and secret crushes to gunrunning and prison torture, and to describe the everyday horrors of life under Trujillo’s rule, “ (back cover). After reading this particular book, you see how times have changed, and how women are becoming more of a force as well as being able to use their own voice. You cannot help but feel for Dede and her sisters because these girls did not deserve what happened to them, and Dede did not deserve to have to bury her sisters because they someone did not approve of their actions. In the end justice was not served for these four sisters as well as the Haitian women, and also men.

"Patria Timeline"

1938- goes to convent Inmaculada Concepcion
1940- decides she wants to be a nun
-While at mass on Holy Thursday she meets Pedrito and falls in love
-On February 24th, (3 days before her 17th birthday), her and Pedrito marry
-After getting married, Patria and Pedrito had a son Nelson
-Two years later Noris was born
-Then losses her baby, as well as her faith, and her marriage
-Goes on a pilgrimage
-Virgin Mary speaks to her
-Regains faith, strength, relationships
-On her 18th year of marriage, her marriage beings to crumble, (slightly)
-Her and Pedrito's kids are grown, Noris 15 and Nelson 17
-Reunites with her sisters on New Year's for the first time in a year
-Patria gets pregnant again
-Takes in Minerva's 6th month old son Manolito
-Goes on a retreat where, where bombing takes place, and witness a young boy get shot in his back
-Then her family is taken into custody
-Gets son back
-Dies on November 25th 1960, with sisters Minerva and Mate at the hands of dictator Trujillo

In comparing the sisters the ones that stick out to me the most is Maria Teresa and Minerva. Why does Maria look up to Minerva more than the other sisters? Minerva is the one who seems to be all about herself, why would she want to spend most of her time with her little sister. Maybe it is because Minerva can be a very convincing person and with Maria being a young girl and at that age can be very vulnerable. And maybe for Minerva, Maria is an easy target for her to control, and Maria might see it has her big sister wants to hang with her, talk to her, just plan old pay attention to her. During the reading I noticed that Maria writes about Minerva a lot in her journal, “Minerva said this…” I think Maria finds comfort in knowing that one of her older sisters is so invested in her and is willing to help guide her through her younger years. Maria might talk about Minerva a lot, but she wants to be able to learn something from each sister as well as other family members.  Maria writes in her Little Book on Thursday, July 4^th, “I’m going to spend the summer learning things I really want to learn! Like 1) doing embroidery from Patria 2) keeping books from Dede… 5) how to argue so I’m right, and anything else Minerva wants to teach time.” In the end it seems to go back to Minerva and Maria wanting Minerva to teach her anything else she wants to be taught her. I think I will need to continue the reading to see how the relationship between Minerva and Maria grows or changes.

"characters"

 After reading through the first four chapters, I found myself a bit confused, did not quite understand the significant of the girls or story. So I did some further research on these girls, and learned that they were murdered because they opposed the cruel dictatorship of Trujillo. Of the four sisters Dede did not get in the way therefore was not murdered, and who is still alive today.

The author of the book, Alvarez, says she wanted to take us beyond the legend and create characters, which I feel was a wonderful idea. By Alvarez creating the characters, and putting names with the story it sends a clearer picture of each sister and how they lived. Without the characters I do not think I would get the full affect of the book, or even get a sense of feeling of what the girls might have experienced, as well as lived through. I find it that when an author uses names or characters behind the story it becomes easier to read and less confusing.  By Alvarez using the girls real names, I get a better understand of each girl and how different they are from one another, but in some ways the same. I think what the Alvarez was trying to do with creating characters was to make sure that each girl was able to tell their own story through their own experiences and feelings, but also be able to share what each sister meant to one another.  Alvarez wanted give each girl a voice, though they are not alive today, (besides Dede) by Alvarez writing this particular book she gave those girls their voice, a chance to tell their stories. With Dede still alive she in a way speaks of the good and bad times she had with her sisters. Without names behind these characters I would just read this book because I had to, and not feel the emotion behind every chapter.

The Bad Boy

            After reading Bad Boys, as well as Dear Rhianna it is clear that most young girls seem to fall in love with the “bad boy”, or the wrong person. And when these young girls get into these bad relationships they will find it very difficult to get out of such relationships. The story of the girl in Bad Boys seemed like she was trying to find herself, she did want to be what her mother wanted her to be. It seems as though she got a rush, found it dangerous by dating the bad boy, because it is opposite of what her mother wants of her. Though to me it seems as if she dating this guy because he is just as troubled as she is, it is someone she can almost relate too. Most girls find it “cool” in a way to date the bad boy, and I think by these girls dating the bad boy they are experiencing something deeper within themselves. Most of these relationships will end up in a domestic violence situation and will find it hard to leave their significant others. For example, in the story of Dear Rhianna, where she was in a domestic violence situation, but unlike most girls she was able to get out. For the girl in the story, she feels that there is nothing wrong with being hit or verbal abused by her boyfriend. She sees it has if it is her fault that he is like the way he is. She writes, “I don’t know about you, but I’m not perfect, I’m naggy and I complain, well that’s what Brad tells me.” No girl of any age deserves to be talk to like that. See what girls do not understand is that no guy is worth being hit over, and that it is never their faults. In most domestic violence cases, one of the two parties who might have experienced domestic violence in some way, meaning that they may have witnessed their mothers or even fathers being abused in some way. For example, the girl in the story says, “and sometimes he hurts her and then she gets meaner and we all just got to our rooms and pretend we don’t hear.” This shows that she is witnessing her father beat her mother, then her mother doing the same. It seems as though it is normal in her life.  What gets about this girl in the story is that she listens to her father, when he says, “My dad says someone’s always asking for it.” Clearly there is something deeper going on with her own father, and what she is witnessing among her parents she believes is okay for her boyfriend to do the same. When in reality it is not okay, because most domestic violence cases can end up very badly, without the proper help then most girls will not get out like Rhianna did so bravely. She was a smart girl. These girls need to realize that they cannot be afraid to tell someone if they have been physically or verbally abused, and that they are people out there willing to help and trying to stop the violence. 

Girls

In Emotional Creature, Ensler takes a look into the world of young girls. Ensler writes this particular book, not through interviews but from what she has seen and heard from around the world.

After reading this particular book I can see that it is definitely geared toward a younger audience. Though the stories in the book are not personal, they are stories about what young girls go through but are too afraid to share. Most girls are afraid to tell their stories or even ask questions if they are curious about something or someone. For example the story, What I Wish I Could Say To My Mother identifies with several questions that young girls face but are to embarrassed to ask or talk about with their mothers, or any martial figure. I was once one of those girls, I struggled to ask my mother certain questions, because I did not want her to look down on me or accuse of anything, like using drugs, drinking, or sex. As soon as I entered high school my mother and I could talk about pretty much anything, and knowing that I could trust my mother with anything I found it to be very reassuring. Today, with the changing world young girls are becoming curious at a young age. For example, on MTV they have a new show called SKINS, and I happened to watch it one day, and it is about high school students, both boys and girls, and they are engaging in sex scenes, outrageous parties with drinking and drugs, and lack of parenting. I understand that most teenagers engage in these particular events, but why promote it, why make a show about these events, and not offer any hotlines or prevention methods during the show. It is a show like this, which get young people into trouble. Young girls have to understand that if your are afraid to talk to your parents, (mothers) that they are other people out there that are willing to listen and give you advice and knowing that you can trust them.